Independence Hypothesis
by ShoeGirlPeach
Summary: Formally "Finding Strength." Amy is frustrated and at a cross roads. Does she want to stay with Sheldon, who hasn't shown much intimacy or move on? After a run with Penny to clear her head Amy's found that things can be a lot more muddled then originally thought. And what about Sheldon? Does he want her, or does he just not want to loose her out of his life? M rating on its' way.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own ANYTHING! Big Bang Theory is not mine! Only how I'm imagining it belongs to me, everything else: characters, settings, legal stuff is all not mine.**

Here's my first attempt at a Shamy fic…Gunna start with a little drama but then hopefully fluff if it goes the way I hope.

Amy remembered the time before Sheldon and her were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. She held the Relationship Agreement in her hands and moaned quietly. Before this she'd been aloof…well not right before. Spending time with Penny and Bernadette had made her crave social interaction more than she had ever anticipated.

And now Amy was lost. Her life was at a turning point. Sheldon and her had been together almost five years now, and beyond a few hugs, hand holding, and the very rare peck kisses nothing had truly happened in their relationship. Sure they had role played sex one night, but that was dungeons and dragons.

Nothing else.

And Amy knew she was frustrated, sexually and emotionally. It wasn't like she didn't know things weren't going to change, she knew what she was getting into but lately Sheldon had begun drifting away. She remembered those days when he eagerly texted her every day, called almost daily, and skyped weekly.

_I was falling for him then and I didn't even know I was capable of love at the time,_ she thought sadly. He didn't love her like Amy loved him. Penny swore he was different before Amy, that he was a terrible robot who only found happiness when things were exactly his way or a new "geek toy."

Amy needed a change or else her life would crumble. She felt it deep in her stomach that her life was too involved in his and he could never reciprocate that love. Flipping idly through the agreement she rolled her eyes over the Public Display of Affection section.

"I have to stop wallowing," she declared tossing the booklet on to the coffee table. Amy then grabbed her laptop and googled "Things to make me feel better" after surfing a few pages Amy resolved that fitness would be an option. _I mean Penny goes out for a run or two… I could do that._

She'd never been a fitness buff, no far from it. She'd played the sports in gym adequately enough to pass with at least an A-, she would never let gym tarnish her GPA. She didn't hate the idea of running, and it could be an opportunity to bond more with her bestie.

"Penny please I'm dying," Amy breathed, her breaths heavy pants. She leaned over holding her body up on her knees. Amy tried not to cry, this hurt, Penny was fast. Too fast. She made Amy think of Sheldon's favorite comic book character the Flash. Her beautiful blonde friend was munching down on a bear claw like they hadn't just ran two miles like the wind to reach Penny's favorite bakery.

"Ames you are _not _dying. It's just the first time we've done this. It'll get better or you can stop like Sheldon," Penny mumbled between mouthfuls of delicious pastry. The look on her bestie's face was smug. Penny knew that right now Sheldon was a sore spot for Amy, and that mentioning him was only going to fuel her fire.

Amy took a swig of her water bottle, relishing every second the liquid slid down her throat. Penny had eyed her funny when she had showed up in a full track suit and huge bottle of water. Penny had warned her it was going to get warm quickly. Amy should've followed suit, but she wasn't comfortable like the goddess before her, in a tight fitting yoga top and sweat pants.

"I am no quitter like Sheldon Cooper," Amy started before another swig, "I keep my promises. Will we be running back?"

"Nah we can take a cab,' Penny replied swallowing the last bite then licking her fingers.

"No Penny. We will not take a cab." Amy then took off the jacket and wrapped it around her waist, now only in the tank top underneath Amy walked out the door. She stretched while Penny threw away her napkin.

"You sure Ames? It's okay I have my wallet….unless of course you have yours?" Penny smiled sheepishly. Amy knew Penny struggled with finances and she normally wouldn't have minded paying for a cab, but no Amy Farrah Fowler was going to run back. She was going to make a change, she needed it.

"Okay," Penny sighed then started to jog ahead. Looking back at Amy she grinned, "Let's go."

When they had reached the fateful hallway, Amy hadn't expected to see Sheldon walking out of his apartment. She had doused herself in the remainder of her water bottle. The contents now trickling down her face and then her chest, normally Amy would've been shy but she felt a rush like she was more alive than she had ever been before. Penny called it a runner's high, and many websites she visited used that terminology.

Maybe it was that high that had Amy feeling so brazen. She sauntered over to her boyfriend, saw him cringe at the sweat and water mingling over her. Amy didn't care anymore. She needed to live for herself, she needed to live in general. Yes she loved Sheldon, but why did she let that love for him over power the love she needed for herself.

Amy had been living a life in solitude for as long as she could remember, no hunk from Texas was going to change the fact that Amy was a person who needed respect.

"Amy? What happened?" Sheldon asked while fidgeting with his messenger bag, he was nervous she could tell. Amy arched her back hoping her breasts would appear more perky, that was confidence right? She needed that now for what she felt she needed to do.

With her chest heaving with her breath and now what she conceived as looking "hot" in her head, Amy didn't notice that Leonard was out in the hall too looking between her, Penny and Sheldon. Amy then closed the space between her and her hot stud of a boyfriend and planted her lips on his.

This was it, do or die. She needed a reaction. Sure this was stupid she knew her germophobic boyfriend wasn't going to kiss her back. But Amy needed that otherwise what was the point? If he didn't want anything why play at a relationship. They were just friends with a piece of paper that said they couldn't have anyone else and strict rules against what she wanted more than anything.

He lingered for a millisecond before pulling away. His eyes were wide with what Amy didn't want to see, anger fear utter disappointment all there. She just watched the melt down it's all she could do. She'd made this step it was time for a follow through with him, for once in their relationship.

"Amy I can't… why Amy?!" He shrieked, face white and shaking.

She knew with that it was time. Amy blinked the tears forming in her eyes. She felt Penny's gasp, Leonard's too. This was going to be for real, it had to be. Sheldon just stood there shaking, confused. _Now I'm going to make it worse._

"Sheldon Lee Cooper that was a goodbye kiss," she swallowed her breath and steadied herself. "After today I don't know when I'll see you again but I won't be your girlfriend the next time we meet."

"Amy what fooli-"

"No, Sheldon it's not foolish. I've been in love with you clearly for the last two years at least and I know you will not and cannot love me back." She felt Penny's hand on her shoulder but Amy shrugged it off. She had to do this on her own. She'd gone from powering herself; this support system although nice at times was a weakness.

"You're breaking up with me?" he squeaked the words. He was confused, shocked but mostly she saw fear in his eyes.

"Yes Sheldon. Maybe when I can love myself again for the both of us then it can work, but what you want and what I want are not the same and I can't wallow in misery anymore dreaming that my theoretical boyfriend will someday become an experimental one." With that she looked back at Penny and Leonard grasping hands. That's what Amy wanted comfort in another human being, but since with Sheldon that would never happen then she would first have to be enough again.

"Amy let's not be silly," he started shaking his head, "we can talk about this next Thursday on date night and get this all sorted out.

She shook her head. Not this time he wasn't going to trick her into believing this was okay. She locked her eyes with her now ex firmly. "Sheldon I'll see you again when I see you," then turning to face Penny, "Thanks for the run bestie I'll see you later this week." A nod to Leonard and with that Amy walked toward the steps, took the first step down then just kept one foot in front of the other.

_Walk quickly; walk with purpose_ she chanted in her head over and over. Maybe if they went back to friends things would be okay again. Maybe. It was her only shot. Amy had thought about this for days, when they were friends Sheldon pined for her, he was a man who always wanted, but when he got the toy it quickly went aside for the next big thing. There wasn't another woman to be the next big thing so far, but Amy felt his control over everything was to make sure if it came he could toss Amy aside for it.

And she knew more than anything that Amy Farrah Fowler did not look at herself in the same light she used to. She knew that many nights she stayed up feeding her cravings with the toothbrush, and other nights she'd cry herself to sleep dreaming of more.

She heard his voice calling after her, a shuffle down the stairs. _Faster Fowler! Faster!_ She sped up and at the door she booked it to her car, not once looking back. Throwing the door open she slid inside fished her keys out her pocket and turned the key. Backing out of the spot she spied him, wearing his Flash t-shirt. _How fitting._ Then Amy floored the car out of the lot and drove back to Glendale.

She needed a life plan. Whether it included Sheldon or not, only time was going to tell.

**Amy may seem a little OOC but to me their relationship is too one sided right now. At first Sheldon was all hoo-ed by Amy but now he's got the power. And I want the Amy I right to find a little strength in herself before she can tackle the Shamy.**

**Please review and comment I'd love to hear what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

**So this is a quick update…quicker than I had expected! Thanks for my first three reviews it means a lot you guys actually reviewed! Anyways once again I don't own anything.**

Sheldon stood in the parking lot watching his girl friend's car peel out of there like a bat out of hell. He, Sheldon Cooper, could comprehend almost anything whether it's advanced theories of physics and mathematical equations, but when it came to that vixen Amy Farrah Fowler, Sheldon was often lost. His girlfriend often made his mind reel with social situations Sheldon had just now learned even existed.

_Think Sheldon, what just happened_, he asked himself. With a small smirk Sheldon chided himself he didn't need to think what just happened, his eidetic memory already had the images ready to play out. _This was supposed to be an extremely enjoyable afternoon._

Sheldon had talked his roommate into taking him to the model train store and even hit Bed Bath and Beyond to get some new towels. He'd noticed too much pilling on his, that woman Penny must've been stealing his towels again. Sheldon enjoyed Penny's company but just because she was having coitus with Leonard didn't mean she had free reign of the apartment.

Back to the point, Sheldon was just leaving the apartment when _she _had come up the stairs. Dripping in sweat and hopefully another liquid otherwise… Sheldon shivered at the thought of Amy producing that much sweat. She was only clothed in track pants, black with a grey stripe up the side, a what seemed like matching jacket tied to her waist and on top a dripping black tank top. Her cheeks were flushed and her breathing was labored. Amy had informed her she would be going for a jog with Penny.

"Oh boy," he muttered. That was it the jog. He remembered how out of mind he felt right after his encounter. Amy was just experiencing a rush of endorphins that's why she had kissed him.

She had kissed him. Sheldon tentatively touched his lips. He still felt the tingle of Amy's soft full lips against his. Part of his mind reeled back at how disgusting kissing was all the contact all the germs. He shook himself like a dog. No kissing was a breach of the Agreement. She hadn't given any advance warning and then she'd just—

"Hey buddy," Leonard said from behind. Shocked Sheldon jumped, he hadn't expected the couple to follow him to the parking lot. "That was… that was weird. Even for you two," Leonard remarked brushing his hair back.

Penny grunted audibly beside her boyfriend. "Not really," she stated. Sheldon watch Penny's face looking for signs of whether or not she knew Amy had planned this.

"And may I ask you Penny why this isn't weird?" Sheldon tilted his head at her. Penny was no match for the intellect of Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper he'd get her secrets out.

"Well Moonpie, you two have only dated each other and sometimes when people get…" Her face reddened, "frustrated. Things can boil to the surface." Leonard rolled his eyes at his girlfriend.

"I don't think Amy craving for Sheldon would've caused this. They've been in this boat for forever now." Sheldon's eyes bugged at the nonchalance his friends had at _his _person life.

"No Leonard it makes sense. When we broke up for the first time it was because I wasn't in the same place as you," she stated, "Amy isn't in the same place as Sheldon right now, it doesn't mean that this is truly the end or anything."

Sheldon piped up, "It's not? So Amy will come to her senses and realize her folly in this whole breaking up situation?" He air quoted breaking up. But inside Sheldon was terrified. He needed Amy. She was his constant in the world, the one person who was his equal, the only woman who he could ever see a future with.

Then it hit Sheldon. Amy had said love. _Oh no,_ he groaned. They were creatures of the mind, he knew one day love was going to get thrown around and feelings would get hurt. He wasn't a hippie but apparently his little vixen from Glendale had hippie tendencies.

"I mean… Maybe Sheldon." Penny twirled her ponytail. "She'd mentioned that before the Agreement that you used to crave her attention much more—"

"Oh hogwash! That is completely untrue, the Relationship Agreement is a binding document that shows how much I want to be with Amy," he chided.

Leonard grimaced. "No Sheldon. Your agreements are always to benefit you. Trust me I've been living with it for far too long to see it any other way."

Sheldon couldn't believe his friends. They were taking Amy's side when obviously hormones had just taken over Amy's cognitive thought processes.

Penny stepped up to Sheldon reading the despair creeping into his face. "Cheer up Sheldon. This is easily fixed. In my first relationship me and my boyfriend-"

"My boyfriend and I," Sheldon corrected.

"Yeah whatever, anyways when things weren't going my way I'd dump him. Then a week later we'd get back together. Amy's still in the 'teenage' stage of relationships. You both kinda missed that ship there. Just show Amy that you **do** care about spending time with her." Penny smiled at herself, very satisfied that she had an answer to the dilemma. Oh Penny the relationship saver for this misfit group.

"And how do you propose that?"

"Well she obviously wants to be able to kiss you."

Sheldon froze. He hated kissing Amy. No he enjoyed it. No he hated that he enjoyed it. The last time they had kissed Amy planted a sneaky one on Sheldon after the end of their date night. She had proposed amending the Agreement to include goodbye kisses after date night. Sheldon scoffed at the idea and Amy had pressed against him.

He'd froze that night too. He'd let her linger there feeling her warmth, relishing in it. Until his senses came back and pushed himself away. That night when he'd gone to bed he'd had such a hard time thinking of equations instead he'd just pictured Amy pressed against him.

"Uhhh..Hello Sheldon? Earth to Shelbot? You in there?" Penny asked waving a hand in front of him.

Sheldon jumped again, "Why of course I'm here." He sighed. "I can't kiss her Penny it's not in me."

With that Leonard smiled. He had an idea that may work. "Then let her kiss you Sheldon. What's the worse that'll happen? If Amy isn't sick. Nothing."

With that Sheldon looked at his best friend. Maybe he was right, the first moments of shock when Amy kissed him he had enjoyed, but when he himself thought of what was going on… well that's when it all broke down.

"Leonard…" He pinched his temples, "maybe."

**That's all I've got. Please read and review! I think I liked writing Sheldon a little better…but who knows I just got started!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry I started this while I was on vacation and then I went back to work and omg tired all the time. So I'm thinking this may go a way I hadn't originally planned but that's okay it may get a little smutty.**

**Anyways the usual I don't own any of this.**

Amy was sprawled across her love seat, one leg stretched over the back of the seat and her head resting on the arm she was a sight many wouldn't imagine of Amy Farrah Fowler. But her she was clothed only in a tank top and yoga pants. "How could I let them dress me," she mused to herself looking down at the sight. The words "Pink" were scrawled down her thigh and Amy's top was scrunched up to show her stomach. If only her mother would walk in right now.

She smiled softly while analyzing her outfit, it was a recent purchase from a shopping outing with the girls. Bernadette had pulled the ladies into Victoria's Secret. A store Amy was familiar with when it came to her ample bosoms and nether regions but never as what many may refer to as "street wear." Bernie had insisted if the girls were to take yoga together they needed matching outfits.

"I don't see the function in that Bernadette," Amy had stated holding up a pair of leggings that made her cringe. She could never just wear that with no skirt over top. Penny just nodded and leafed through panties like pages in a Cosmo magazine.

"It'll be fun Amy that's the point!" Bernadette squeaked. Although lesser to Penny in looks and social graces, Bernadette was still fun and vivacious. Amy liked that streak in her, she was what Amy had concluded the perfect blend of Penny and herself.

"Yeah, yeah, how about same style different colors," Penny started holding up the yoga bottoms that would become the winner, "this is my yoga class you two are intruding on after all."

Amy frowned slightly. _Is Penny not pleased at the thought of us joining?_ She hated that she always went to a place that the girls didn't want her there. But it was natural after years of bullying and loneliness.

"Penny, if you didn't want us to join then why offer?" Bernadette asked her hands now placed on her tiny hips. She was such a mini person.

"Oh I want you guys there. I love that being active is becoming an option," Penny tossed aside the shirt Amy was holding. "No built in bra sweetie those suck. Anyways the girls at the gym are such fake bitches now." Penny then handed her the winning top as well.

It was simple, purple with lines down the side in a hourglass shape. The inside had a built to structure to hoist Amy up. She hoped that the flimsy looking band would be supportive, one must constantly be aware of health issues especially breast tissue. The bottoms were plain black with the word "Pink" in purple. _How silly, _she mused.

"I'm pink, Amy get's purple and Bernie you're blue," Penny handed Bernadette her outfit and then headed the registers. "Let's go ladies there's greasy mall pizza with our names on it."

That was the best day of Amy's week without Sheldon. She had tried running again, and she'd enjoyed it for a moment when she found clarity in just thinking of just putting one foot in front of the other. Other days she just sat at home, catching up on medical journals and scientific papers she had missed.

Work was easy, as it had always been. She went in, cut some brains and then left. Though during lunch she talked more with coworkers than usual, lunch used to be for texting Sheldon. She found she enjoyed her colleagues a lot more than anticipated.

But then there were the texts from Sheldon. Nothing major just "how was your day?" "I miss you," and finally "I'll see you Thursday." Amy hadn't expected him to keep with date night, but Sheldon Lee Cooper was a creature of habit and planning.

She turned her head toward the coffee table. Sitting there was the Agreement. She hadn't terminated it yet, so according to Sheldon they were still together. Amy sighed. The paper was right, she was still Sheldon's girlfriend she was just so frustrated and upset that morning. If he came over she'd explain that she just felt there was no other way but out, but now she knew she wanted in.

She scowled. The thought of apologizing for wanting to kiss him soured her stomach. The thought that they should just be together and she deal with it anyways hurt just as much. Oh Amy was not happy but she'd figure it out. Sighing she sat up and put her head in her hands. _Maybe I won't apologize tonight, maybe I'll wait and see._

Her thoughts were interrupted by the timely clicks of:

_Knock knock knock _"Amy."

_Knock knock knock _"Amy."

_Knock knock knock _"Amy."

She paused for a moment, debating on how long to make him wait. It was 7:01pm, Sheldon would be furious if she postponed the ritual of date night. Standing up she straightened her shirt pulling it down. Amy hated to admit how comfortable this outfit was, and how she had debated on going back to buy more. She planned a day next week to do such. She wondered if Sheldon would be shocked to see her in something other than her usual fare.

When she opened the door Amy met Sheldon's eyes for the first time since she said it's over. She scanned his face and noticed bags under his eyes and pallor to his face. He looked tired. Amy's heart tugged at the thought of him staying up late nervous about this.

"May I come in?" He asked. There was no smile to his face. Amy nodded and stepped aside so he could enter her threshold. She watched him intently; Amy had no idea what Sheldon was going to do. At this point her quasi-boyfriend was a loose cannon to her. Amy had hardly been in real contact with him, while she did crave more conversation she wasn't going to back down.

Sheldon wore a batman t-shirt with a white under shirt, khakis of course and his loafers. He looked so incredibly handsome to her at that moment, she just wanted to rip that vintage top off and mount him like a stallion in a western. Amy blinked. _Why do I always picture myself on top?_

"Amy may I have a seat?" he asked politely and Amy could now tell he was avoiding her eyes. Something was off. She nodded and he sat down in his usual spot.

"That's my spot," she joked, cracking a smile before sitting down beside him. He finally looked her over, his eyes starting from her bare feet up her legs to her chest, Amy smiled when his eyes bugged slightly. _So he is a man._ Then to her face finally.

"Amy Farrah Fowler," he began then cleared his throat, "I have a proposal."

**Aaaand that's chapter three! Rating may change… When I write notes on this it all turns smutty. I don't know. I'll update as soon as I can and please review! It really makes my day!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Alright back to business! Once again I don't own anything, Shamy is not mine! I'm bringing you this update for my real life bestie who apparently enjoys this! Also thanks to all the new favs and reviews I love you guys!**

Sheldon dreaded Thursday. It was a looming black cloud over his week. Although at work he dived deeply into his research in hopes of drowning the image of Amy all sweaty and upset pressed against him. It didn't work as well as he had hoped. Instead he'd found himself tense, withdrawn and more cranky than what his friends usually said he was.

Throughout the week he'd sent Amy a few text messages hoping to open up the conversation back between him. Not having her a fingertip away seemed so…alien to him now. After all the years they spent building a friendship and relationship this sudden distance was eating away at Sheldon. Amy was such an important part of her life now she couldn't just walk away. _Could she?_

He'd spent all of his free time that week working on how to approach Amy with his proposal. Inside Sheldon knew this would fix everything. He was Sheldon Cooper homo-novus. A genius, he could figure out a woman.

And now it was Thursday, time for Sheldon to man up and show Amy he did care.

The drive to her apartment had been boring, Leonard tried to engage him in frivolous conversation about his work, Penny, the group and even tried their element game. Sheldon wasn't in the mood for it, instead he fiddled with his messenger bag. _Amy will be happy to see me _he thought. She had to be otherwise she would've cancelled when he texted her about tonight.

He was nervous. In more ways than one, he didn't want to lose Amy as his girlfriend and over the course of the week Sheldon realized he'd have to start engaging in more physical contact. _Just keep control of the situation, that's the only way this will work for us… for me._

Once Sheldon knocked on Amy's door he waited but only a moment, which was good nothing irritated him more than tardiness. Well tardiness and cleanliness and stupidity, and oh Sheldon didn't want to name off the items that irritated him to no end. He didn't have time for that he needed to get inside of Amy's apartment and resolve this—

_Good Lord what is she wearing? Penny needs to stop_—Sheldon's thoughts were interrupted as his body wandered over Amy's body. Part of his mind prayed that Amy didn't notice his eyes linger over the heaping mounds that were her breasts. He swallowed hard and asked, "May I have a seat?" He then sat down in his usual place and looked over her body again. _Why is she wearing that? Where are her usual clothes? _

"That's my spot," she joked cracking a wide smile. Oh, that made him at ease. Amy was in one of her more playful moods. Although she wasn't as whimsical as he was, at times Amy could loosen up a little bit. He hated to admit that he enjoyed her playful moments.

Amy then sat down on the love seat beside him, he felt the seat sink with her weight. He felt her presence so close to him and he had missed this all week. Her perfume wafted in the air and somehow it gave him the courage to go forward.

"Amy Farrah Fowler," he started and then cleared his throat before going on, "I have a proposal to our Relationship Agreement." With that he reached into his messenger bag and pulled out a single sheet of paper. He couldn't help but smile and let out a soft chuckle this was a work of art, a starting ground for their progression forward. _This will work Sheldon._ He then passed the sheet over to Amy giving her the ample time to read and absorb the amendment.

Sheldon watched her eyes scan over the page, far too many times for one who was just reading it once. _Oh no… she's rereading and rereading again._ That couldn't be good, Amy hadn't said a word until a soft:

"You've got to be fucking kidding me?"

Sheldon's eyes widen at her choice of language. He'd never been fond of Penny's dirty mouth but now he truly loathed its influence on his sweet wonderful Amy.

"Kidding? No Amy that is truly the farthest from a joke," he stated. He needed to regain control of this situation, he couldn't let her have it. Without control Sheldon didn't know what he'd do that's why he planned everything out, wasn't it?

Amy in one quick motion torn the paper in half, her face unreadable to him, all he could do in response was gasp. This wasn't at all what he had expected and it was in Sheldon's opinion the rudest thing Amy could've done.

"I'm not agreeing to kissing you on the cheek every other date night Sheldon," he screeched, "that's just plain ridiculous!" Her voice kept rising and her face reddened. Sheldon couldn't help but notice the blush that was also creeping across her chest as well. _Eyes up man!_ In response she put her arms under her breasts making them more prominent. _Is she trying to kill me?!_

"Amy this is a compromise for me to work out some…issues with—"

"Issues? What issues? That I'm dirty or something?" she cut in.

Oh this was going nowhere. "No Amy I just don't like touching people you know that," he stated.

At that point Amy jumped up from her spot on the couch and pounced on top of him, pinning him against the side of the loveseat. He was stuck. She was too close. He could feel her breath on his skin, smell her even more fiercely, and now her hair dangled in his face.

"You're a man Sheldon, act like it."

And with those words Amy pressed herself against him, closing his mouth in a strong, forceful kiss.

**Aaaaannnd that is for my real life buddy! I don't have a beta reader but I try to make sure I catch what I can. Thanks guys! I love the reviews! And I've always pictured Amy on top but everyone seems to write Sheldon up there….hmmm.**


	5. Chapter 5

**There's no excuse for the delay. I just couldn't bring myself to write anymore, but after watching all of disc one for season 6 on blu ray today I thought about the story again. Anyways here's what I have.**

Sheldon was shocked as Amy pressed against him. He had no idea what was going on, or why Amy had kissed him. This wasn't how he planned or imagined their first "real kiss" all his ideas melted away as Amy's lips moved against him. _Was that me moaning or her?_ He had thought long and heard about the subject of pressing one's lips against another's, he had thought they'd be at some park sitting before the Pasadena sunset; maybe a train caboose in the background to put him in a move appealing mood. Then he'd speak softly to her about how important Amy was to him then lay his lips delicately on her like a gentleman would, like all the movies Meemaw and his mother had insisted on watching while he was younger.

This wasn't in the plan at all. Sheldon needed control to get through his days. But the ministrations Amy's lips were performing on his own left him in a euphoric mood. Part of him hated that he ran his hands along Amy's side, feeling the piping in her shirt. His body was encouraging this further, encouraging her further.

Sheldon had felt sexual arousal only a few times in his life, and all had been attributed to Amy Farrah Fowler.

He groaned against her mouth leaving the chance for her to slip her tongue past his lips. _Sheldon Cooper stop this now! Amy is a lady and deserves better-._ His mind cut off when he felt his own hands move up further up Amy's sides. Had he just? _Oh Lord._

Amy had no clue what she was doing. Her body was against his, and she quite enjoyed being on top of his slender frame. _No wonder I picture myself on top, this feels fantastic!_ But she really didn't know what she was doing. She'd only kissed that one boy when she was twenty-two and then Sheldon on those rare occasions. This time was different she poured all she'd read in those trashy romance novels and romantic flicks she found herself enjoying. Part of her remember a few things she'd gotten out of Penny and Bernadette, like moving her lips against his, she hoped he'd react to her movement.

Amy was extremely surprised when her boyfriend didn't pull away and instead moved his hands along her side. _This is a better feeling than anything Gerard could give me._ There was something about touching another human being, maybe it was the fact that she loved Sheldon. She felt a tiny moan against her lips, that was definitely not her. _Is Sheldon enjoying this? _

She had always wanted Sheldon to initiate the contact, but if he was going to allow her to kiss him then _this_ was how she wanted to be kissed. Not on the cheek every other date night, no she wanted to be able to pour her heart into these moments when the urge came to her. Amy wanted spontaneity at times. Yes, she loved ritual and organization as much as Sheldon did, but Amy craved for whimsy that he so did not believe she possessed.

Sheldon groaned against her and this time Amy used the opportunity to slip her tongue past his lips. She felt his hands move further up her sides, creeping slowly up and over her—

"Sheldon!" She gasped as she pulled back. His eyes were half closed an almost drunken look to them, and his hands were still pressed against her breasts. Sheldon Lee Cooper had finally found second base. Amy watched his eyes open, lord was he a sight, face red and hair disheveled just like his shirt. He leaned slightly forward and his hands were still there. She almost felt a squeeze, no that had to be her imagination.

"Amy… I," he started and when his eyes were fully in focus he pulled his hands away and sat up straighter, causing Amy to be basically in his lap. _What's that… Oh Sheldon is a man!_ She felt his arousal, it was the most exciting thing Amy had ever discovered. None of her scientific work made her feel as accomplished as the fact that she, Amy Farrah Fowler, had given Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper an erection.

She settled herself more into his lap, and that's when Sheldon promptly shoved her off. She fell to the floor with a _thump._ While she was down there she watched him franticly grab the closest pillow to cover his lap.

"Wow," she breathed, "you are a man."

"This isn't funny Amy!" he practically growled, face darkening even more.

"I didn't say it was funny," she replied pushing a loose strand of hair out of the way, "in fact I would say it's very titillating." Amy smiled slyly at him. Her heart was beating quickly, her breath still not quite caught up, and her pupils were probably dilated from her arousal.

He looked away ashamed. That broke Amy's high slightly. She didn't want Sheldon to be ashamed of the fact that he was in fact a red blooded male who was attracted to his own girlfriend. In fact, Amy wanted him to come down to the floor and ravish her right then and there. Her sly smile turned into a dreamy grin as her mind began to play out him throwing the pillow aside and looming down over her taking her then and there.

"I had planned this Amy," he mumbled. His head was buried into his hands and he was shaking. Amy came out of her reverie and looked at the state of her beloved Sheldon. _Oh god I broke him._ Her mind began to panic but instead he looked up at her and said, "Three months from now we were supposed to be on a date, to see the trains have dinner and I was going to kiss you," he sighed. "I was going to kiss you like this and Amy you just ruined all my plans!"

Part of her wanted to comfort him, but the other part was still reeling from all the hormones going "I am Woman!" Instead she kneeled in front of him and placed her hands on his knees, part of her hurt when he flinched but he didn't push her away.

"I'm sorry I ruined your plans," she began. Amy had to be delicate, this was Sheldon after all. But the other part of her said she had to get her piece of mind out. "I can't wait forever Sheldon. It's been years and yes three months is nothing compared to that but still if you want to kiss me just do it." Her voice was a little bitter. _Well there goes being gentle_

"I thought the kissing agreement would help me know if I wanted to or not."

"So you weren't sure about it? This was a maybe plan?"

"Well… I… Don't look at me like that," he grumbled. Oh why did he dash her hopes so? If this had been a for real plan Amy would have been delighted to know he thought about this, but no it was theoretical just like everything else about Sheldon.

"I can look at you how I want," she stated and used his knees to push herself up to stand. Amy pulled her tank top down, she hadn't noticed that it had ridden up showing her midriff. She stood over him, trying to be a looming presence. It probably wasn't working. "Sheldon I love you! I want you, not just mentally but also physically," she paused and looked away, "and you want me physically too, I felt it," she mumbled the last bit.

They stood there for a moment before Sheldon stood up as well. There were close again, a mere inches was all that stood between them. Amy finally looked back up at her boyfriend. His eyes were focused on her. _So damn blue, _she thought. She could swim in those eyes. She wanted to dive into him and devour him in so many different ways.

But she couldn't. He didn't want that as much as the erection felt like she had accomplished something, it was just his body reacting to her's. She felt his body heat radiate outward, was he always running this warm? There were so many thoughts running through her head, and when Sheldon ran his hand through her hair she jumped.

"I want to point out Amy that you were the one who pulled away," he whispered. She blinked looking at the expression he was giving her. _Is that lust in his eyes?_ "Right when I had finally 'found second base' as you would put it." He bent down to rest his forehead against her's.

She shivered slightly at the contact. _Oh my goodness that is lust!_ She reached up and put her arms on his. "Yeah you did find it," she muttered. She didn't know why she was suddenly so sad. Was because she knew the rejection was coming?

"Can I," he began, voice shaking, "Find it again?" Amy pulled back gasping. Her stomach did a somersault when she saw that Sheldon had on a very serious face.

"OhmygodyesSheldonohmygodareyouserious?!" She exclaimed. It wasn't even a real sentence coming out of her mouth.

"Help me?" he asked earnestly. And with that Amy took his hands into her own. _Oh my God he does want me!_

**Okay so yeah this is going to smutsville quickly. I tried to make this chapter muuuuch longer than the others. I doubt it really is though. Thanks to anyone still reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Alright I'm back again. Anyways I don't own Big Bang Theory. At All. To those who've reviewed thank you it makes my day so much and I enjoy them. Anyways to the story.**

Sheldon didn't know what he was thinking when he leaned down and pressed his head against Amy's. _What is it about this woman?_ He thought about touching Amy, but those thoughts were always private and he never had expected to find himself acting upon them. If he hadn't taken Leonard's advice and let Amy kiss him he wouldn't be in this mess.

Was that what happened? _Did I go into this subconsciously knowing it would cause Amy to react thusly?_ Her hands were holding his own. Was he really going to touch second base again? Should he? Amy was the most perfect and wonderful woman he'd ever met, besides his own mother and Meemaw. Feeling her up like some Glendale hotzy-totzy wasn't how he should approach her wonderful appealing body.

No Amy should be treasured.

Then why had he asked if he could "find second base" again?

The look in her eyes was pure excitement and…something else. Trepidation? Was Amy nervous as well? His hand began to shake in her's as she pulled them closer to her chest. _Why again is she in that flimsy top? If she was in her more lady like attire there'd be more layers! _He breathed in through his mouth and tried to steady his hands.

Part of him wanted to stop. The other part wanted to rush his hands up there and softly touch, squeeze, and ply her flesh. He found himself staring at them, seeing if he could figure out the surface area of her bosom, wondering how his hands would really fit over them. Would he hurt her if he went about this in the wrong way? There were too many variables.

"Sheldon," Amy began bringing his hands up the final inches so that they were just hovering about her breasts. "Ready?"

He nodded although his mind screamed: _RUN SHELDON THIS IS UNKNOWN TERRITORY! DANGER! DANGER!_ She took his hands by the wrists and then ever so gently rested his hands upon her. It felt heavenly, if he believed in such a foolish notion.

But amazing was a word he could accept.

His body shivered slightly. Did Amy notice? Oh god hopefully she hadn't noticed that she would probably see it as a sign of fear. Why wasn't he afraid right now? Was it because he'd wanted this too for a long time? Everyone saw Sheldon as a robot, and indeed he wasn't a man who quite grasped emotions. But this was different. He'd wanted Amy for a long while, and now while feeling her in his hands he could admit it.

At least to himself.

Amy let out a small squeak when he pinched her flesh slightly. "Amy?" he asked afraid he had hurt her. He began to pull his hands back but her chest followed his hands.

"I'm fine," she breathed her face flushed and a huge smile across her face. "Just shocked is all." He nodded and smiled at her. _Was that my koala smile?_ _No that smile was more genuine I hope._ He continued his exploration of Amy's ample bosom when suddenly he felt something twinge. _Not again._

Amy kept smiling up at him, moving closer not knowing that she was recreating a predicament for him. There were only inches of space between them when finally she closed the space and wrapped her arm around his neck pulling him closer.

"Is… is now an acceptable time to kiss you?" she asked her voice low and dripping with sexuality. _She is truly a vixen!_ Amy didn't even wait for a reply before pulling him down and meeting their lips again. Sheldon removed his hands from her chest to wrap them around her waist pulling Amy to him. The boys were right it was instinctive.

Her lips moved against his own and he mimicked her movement. Suddenly she stopped and pulled away.

"Sheldon are you…Oh really!" Amy took a few steps back and looked him up and down. In the heat of the moment Sheldon had forgotten about his arousal. Suddenly ashamed he grabbed the closest thing he could find, the same pillow from earlier and covered his erection. _This isn't happening. This is not happening. I told you Sheldon run DANGER! DANGER!_

"Ohh," she purred at him overcoming her shock. Twice now she'd aroused him and without release this was going to be bothersome. "Is it bad that I feel like a sex goddess right now?"

"Just because you've made me aroused twice in a short period of time isn't an accomplishment," He stated sitting back onto Amy's loveseat.

"Oh I would say it is," she grinned moving to sit beside him. "Want to talk Sheldon?" she asked her voice seemed genuine and concerned.

"No I want to deal with this," he gestured to erection with a growl. _Don't get mad at her Sheldon get mad that Kolinahr didn't work._ He felt her weight scoot closer to him until their thighs were touching.

"I can deal with it," Amy suggested wiggling her eyebrows.

"Amy just give me a moment and wha—" He stopped when her hand crept over his leg. He dashed up, there was no way they were going this far tonight. Her eyes focused on him for only a moment before drifting down then she jerked them back up to his face.

"Too soon?"

"Yes. Too soon Amy." He looked around for his jacket and grabbed it. "Maybe another time, but I think I should be going now," he said looking at the floor ashamed that he could be hurting her.

Amy stood up and beamed at him. _She's not mad?_ She grabbed her jacket as well and then her purse. "I'll drive you home if you'd like?"

He nodded and moved aside to follow Amy out the door. She walked past him still smiling. He wasn't sure why she was smiling so much, he was embarrassed to death right now. After they had made it outside of her door she looked up at him expectantly.

"So..My kiss goodnight?"

"Amy you're impossible."

**Alright that took a bit to post. Sorry work is crazy and I had started this chapter then stopped then well started again. I think it's time for them to be apart again. Also to my bestie there's a line I put in there juuuuust for yooooou! I hope you catch it! Anyways read and review I love hearing from you guys!**


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